I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
