we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Someone came in the potted fern
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize