You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
