We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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