Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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