I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
