I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.