totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.