That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often