Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
