Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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