you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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