I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize