mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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