Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
