He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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