I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
