don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
