Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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