Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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