Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
