it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
