I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pants are for mortals
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
