I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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