I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
