Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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