I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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