a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
