Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Fuck appropriateness.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
