It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
