I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
