people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
