Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
