On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He felt like a one man threesome
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
