OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
