You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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