Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize