So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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