Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
