My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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