Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
