too bad you live with your parents still
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have surprise drugs for everyone
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
