I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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