dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
