you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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