He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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