I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
