and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So squirting runs in the family.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize