If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
