the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
