Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
