I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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