you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
