How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!