That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize