I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
