there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
