just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
