when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
