ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
