the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
