will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
