now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
