Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
