i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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