My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
