Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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