recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
