We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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