So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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