around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
