Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
